Taking care of Bill

Dream from tonight.

Bill Murray was standing in front of a mirror. He was pulling something from his eyes, like dead skin covering them. This caused his eyes to turn blood red around the irises. It somehow changed his personality, and he was now vindictively searching for some man to harm him. It was up to me to calm Bill down, and I lead him by the arm, taking him to see his friends. The only one I remember is Martin Short, but there were other actors and comedians too. His eyes turned gradually white again. This dream ended very positively, with Bill and I walking down the street with lots of other celebrities. Quite a few of them had died but were now alive again, which we were all very happy about.

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Perception

The details of this dream are very fuzzy, but what I remember is kind of interesting. This is just the very end of course.

I woke up in my grandfather’s room, on a mattress on the floor. (I have slept in my grandfather’s room many times but on the fold-out sofa, not on the floor.) I got up and tried to recollect my dream, telling it to my grandfather and some other people. There had actually been three different parts to this dream, but apparently they had all involved working on a farm in the old days. My grandfather said that it was good that I got to know a bit about how it was in the old days. But I pointed out that what I dreamt might not actually have been a good representation of reality.

I was also trying to remember names of people in the dream, writing them down on a piece of paper, but couldn’t remember all of them. I had five or six written down, none of them names of people I actually knew. (I’m pretty sure this was false, since I don’t usually dream names of people.)

In one part of the dream I was conveying, I had actually woken up from another dream. I pointed to the mattress where I had just woken up and said that in my dream I had also woken up there. Now it might very well be that I hadn’t actually dreamt that I dreamt that I woke up from a dream. Instead maybe I just confused the occurrence of me waking up on the mattress with actually having also dreamt that I did.

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Umbrella logic

A dream from 11 May 2011.

I was in some kind of battle or contest like a computer game, but feeling very real. It had just been revealed that I was a very powerful kind of something. A medium-sized umbrella had just emerged and opened on top of my head or hat, and this umbrella was both a powerful weapon and a means of flight.

But then a bunch of other guys, maybe five or six, revealed that they too were of the same kind. Umbrellas opening they flew towards me, and it was very scary. This was taking place in some kind of school building, with lots of halls and passage ways (as in many of my dreams). I flew towards them and managed to go up towards the ceiling and past them, but they turned around and to my dismay they were faster. The speed in general was not great, barely faster than running. It felt more like hovering than flying.

Suddenly a second group of about the same number appeared before me. I managed to do some evasive maneuvers, and by a force of will I picked up speed and seemed to be losing them. I went around several corners. In desperation and fear that they would suddenly catch up I thought to go somewhere unexpected without them seeing. I flew into a class room, and realized the only way out was through a window. I opened one as quickly as I could, hoping it wouldn’t be locked. It wasn’t and I fell, then hovered, toward the ground, the window being several stories up. I went around a corner outside, and then weighed the possibilities: Getting away from the school towards some buildings and trees, with the possibility of the others seeing me fleeing through a window. Or hunkering down in a small spot I’d just noticed. I did the latter. It was behind a low wall, between the building and a trash can.

I remember thinking about the apartment building I’d looked at, the trees, the school, the very real smell of the trash can and the physical feeling of where I was. Knowing then that it was a dream, I thought about all the other times I’d had dreams of places that seemed very real and then waking up wondering if I was indeed channeling into my dream a real place where I’d never been in waking life. (In reality I have never wondered this while awake, but in this dream that’s what I thought.) I thought that this time I had to gather some clues about this place, so that when I woke up I could try to find out where it was, and whether it was indeed a real place.

Then I woke up.

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Gimme that old time Stygian

I dreamt a lot tonight, but only two distinct parts of the dream I remember well.

I was in a gloomy cellar. It seems I was there willingly. There were three doors, each one a doorway to Hell, very reminiscent of Clive Barker’s Hellraiser (although these doors seemed to be there all the time). Like in Hellraiser, there were labyrinthine corridors on the other side. I can’t remember being afraid.

The hallways to which the three doors led all connected on the other side, so it didn’t seem like it made a difference which of the doors one went through.

But at one point it became apparent that it was the middle door that had to be opened. The door, or perhaps Hell itself, made this clear by turning the door invisible so that we (or I?) could see it leading down a corridor to another door. Then, the middle door was like a TV screen, zooming in on the other door, even zooming so far that this other door appeared bigger than real size and one could only see a part of it. Then the view panned down to the handle of that door, which was pink and rubbery and shaped like a smooth erect penis. (I associated this with the sexual depravity of Hellraiser, the whole pain/pleasure thing.)

The later part of the dream was quite different. It’s strange to me now writing down these two passages, because they seem so related. But when I woke up, the connections didn’t occur to me, they were just the two parts of the dream I remembered best.

I was on an open-air plaza of a gigantic structure, some sort of temple. It was daylight. There were two big buildings, one to each side, sort of like mosques. I think we were high above sea level, maybe on a mountain. Everything was of stone, seeming like sandstone.

A priest was there, my superior or someone of authority. We were to perform a ritual, maybe a summoning. Between us was a casket, maybe a little smaller than a human sized coffin. It was quite plain looking, maybe wooden, with a perfectly rounded lid. What was in it was of some importance, but I don’t think I knew what it was, and maybe the revelation of the contents was part of the ritual.

It’s not clear what we did as part of the ritual, but for each step, we somehow went higher up a tower. Either the tower was already there, just that I couldn’t see anything higher up than the level I was on, or the tower appeared one level at a time. Each level was different, but made of stone.

When we had reached a great hight, there was another casket there, exactly like the first one but much bigger. The priest and I were standing on each side of it. I’m not sure where the first one was now, but I think we had it with us the whole time. The level where we were standing consisted of not much else than this casket, in any event nothing to stand on except the floor directly underneath the casket – so we had to stand on our toes, tucking them under the casket, where there was a gap because of its four feet. I was deathly afraid to fall down; behind me there was no support, just a plunge hundreds of meters down.

I noticed then that we weren’t on the very top of the tower. There was something even above us – a huge cross, or maybe even a crucifix or Christ figure.

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Diabolical business

A new dream, from two nights ago.

I was at work. There were some problems with the receptionists. I don’t really remember much from this part of the dream.

Later I was told to see a guy, he was either some sort of boss or some sort of wiz kid at the company. They called him “Mr. L” [L being the name of the company]. He told me about a radical new technology they were developing. [I actually work at a software company.] They were mining for some rare material, and he showed me schematics of how they were drilling into certain rocks. These mines were now on the verge of collapse, so he told me they were going to drill into a new rock, next to the others.

He was now taking me into one of the current mines. It was a downward slope which after a short distance opened up to a rubble filled hall to the left, sloping upwards, back the same way. Suddenly the entrance collapsed, rocks tumbling down, and we were trapped. I was really scared, but suggested we had to start lifting rocks, to try to clear the entrance. Then we heard a deep, demonic voice: CLEAR IT. We both thought it was best to obey. I started lifting rocks away at the bottom of the path going up to the entrance, but the other guy was in the big hall instead. I was actually making some headway; a chain reaction caused rocks blocking the opening to fall away. But then I saw that the guy had made his way up the slope of the hall and was leaving through a crack, sort of next to where we had gone in but a little further away.

I made my way out of the mine. Now I heard chanting from a short distance away. I went toward it to investigate. It was a little ways into a forest – “Mr L” and some other people were conducting a demonic ritual. I was on a cliff above them. I can’t remember actually peering over the cliff and seeing them.

Next I was on the run through the forest. It was the demonic worshippers following me, but they seemed like people I knew now. The landscape was very steep to one side, down toward the sea. I kept trying to throw myself down the steep hills, to tumble down and quickly escape my pursuers. Although I would surely hurt myself on trees and rocks, I was certain it wouldn’t be too bad, and that I’d done it before. But somehow I just wasn’t able to do it, the incline wasn’t steep enough when I tried so I didn’t get anywhere.

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The lion, the witch and the torture

Another dream from June 2010, the 6th to be precise.

I was at my grandparents’ old apartment, and I was in a fight with some kind of witch. She had reduced me to such a bloody mess that I realized it would only get worse if I didn’t call truce. So with great humiliation I said that I gave up – she had won. She was very pleased with this. We both knew that this meant I was under the thrall of the witch and she would make my life miserable from then on. What I was most worried about though was what I’d just experienced: extreme physical pain. So I asked her about the regular torments she would put me through – would they generally be more psychological? Yes, she replied, it would be too much effort for her to torture me bodily very often. So, I asked again, it would be more like ruining my life so that I was lonely and devoid of all happiness? She concurred, and I was relieved to hear this. I could imagine weathering such pains, as long as I didn’t have to experience the physical agony.

She seemed content with what she had put me through, and we both took steps to go to another room. (We were in the hall.) But then we realized that we were both going to the bathroom. What do you want in there? she asked. I said I had to rinse my mouth out. I had lots of blood and pieces of what I assume were my teeth in my mouth. This gave her an idea for further torture, were she with her magic would really start grinding away at my teeth and the inside of my mouth. I was terrified and regretted bitterly that I’d given her the idea.

The dream gets a little hazy here, but at some point we were in the kitchen. Somehow I managed to strike an offensive blow against the witch. I grabbed her and struck her head against the sink so that her head tore off. She wasn’t defeated, but before she could do anything I started tearing her body apart to incapacitate her. Her head was on the floor and she was speaking, but I don’t remember what she was saying. I grabbed the head and tore the brain out in the sink, and started rending it to pieces. It seemed important to disable her brain as much as possible. There was no blood during this dismemberment. I think the only liquid was her slimy brain.

At some point the witch was transforming herself into a lion. The body parts on the floor were regrowing and reassembling themselves into a lion’s body as I was working on mangling the brain and the head. It was apparent to me that the witch’s powers resided in these three parts: the body, the head and the brain, and it was important to keep them separate. During this, I washed my hands in the sink, but also thought that I shouldn’t let too many brain-parts get into the sewage system, lest they somehow reassemble out in the wild.

My male cousin was also a slave to the witch, and he was also in the apartment. I called to him to come help, but he was busy in another room doing something with our grandfather. I called again and again, emphasizing the urgency of the situation. I grew more desperate, frustrated and angry for each time I had to holler at him. This is the most important thing you’ll ever do in your life! I screamed. And I meant it of course; we could be free from the witch! But I don’t remember ever stating explicitly that it concerned the witch. At last my cousin came and saw what I was doing. Well, you have her brain and her head pretty much ruined, he said. He didn’t seem that interested. Yeah, but look, I said, we can’t let her body grow into a lion. The lion looked kind of small at this point, like a big dog, and one hind leg was this tiny stump in the process of growing out.

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Oblivion and theatrics

This dream is from June 2007:

I was walking around with my brother, who is 13 years younger. In the dream he was little, maybe 7 or 8 years old. We were walking in some sort of forest–garden hybrid; there were small areas with grass and trees enclosed by stone edgings and between them were gravel walkways. The trees were big and old like in a real forest.

We were on our way somewhere to meet the others, but weren’t sure of the way. After walking a while we ended up in the same place. I then got a somewhat clearer sense of the area and found out that we were going “that way”, a little uphill from where we were. We had stopped and unpacked something from our bags. I started collecting it, but my brother was already taking off up the road. Wait! I shouted, but he continued along. A short distance ahead I saw a theater curtain descending across the walkway in front of him. I’m not sure of the color of this curtain. It extended as far as I could see from each side of the road. I now ran after him shouting that he mustn’t go behind the curtain, but it was too late; he was already on his way through. (Did he go under, or was there an opening?)

I was very scared for what would happen to him on the other side of the curtain. I reached the curtain just as he disappeared, and I started frantically searching for the way through. I found it at last. (I think there might have been several layers of fabric.) I managed to grab my brother, and in so doing glimpsed the total and complete darkness that existed on the other side. I pulled him back. Appalled I discovered that his skin had changed to an ashen color, like he was covered with gray soot, but it was his skin color. His hair had changed from blonde to black and only a few strands remained on his head. He stood there in front of me shivering, but with an expressionless face. I grabbed him by his shoulders and asked him what was wrong. Nothing, he answered blankly. I searched in my head for the solution. I thought that I would either have to go behind the curtain myself, so that I would end up like him; or try to reach the edge of the curtain on either side, to figure out what had happened to him. These two solutions seemed logical in the dream.

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Acrobatic levitation

The following is from 12 June 2010:

As is normal I had a lot of flying dreams growing up. That is to say, they were trying-to-fly, jumping-really-high, and falling dreams. Over the years I seem to have improved my flying skills, and for some time I’ve had more dreams where I actually fly, although I don’t have flying dreams that often anymore.

Tonight I had a dream where I was standing in the street talking to some people and they mentioned somebody who could purportedly fly, and they were a little skeptical about this. It’s actually not that hard, I said, and willed myself to levitate ten feet straight up in the air. Then I twirled around a little, keeping my body straight. While upside down, I made myself plummet straight down towards the ground. A slight feeling of fear as I neared the pavement, face first. But I stopped just in time, spun around and landed on my feet.

Next I wanted to fly up in the sky, but I hit a vast wooden ceiling instead. I broke through (with some hesitation about ruining the roof). It seemed then I heard from the people on the street that some group had built the ceiling to shut the sky out. Further up I hit another ceiling, and broke through it. I really wanted to reach the sky, but kept hitting wooden ceilings.

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Magical temporal and spatial transportation through technology

To start off, here’s actually a dream I had tonight. It involves revisiting the past via a recording, although I guess it’s more visiting than revisiting since it’s not my past.

I was watching an anime movie on DVD and turned on the commentary track. Suddenly I found myself in the studio of the guys who were recording the commentary, as they were doing it. We were in some kind of vehicle – most like a boat, because it had a lower cabin and an upper area, both small – but driving on a highway. We were driving next to a magnificent landscape; the sea and tall craggy cliffs. The weather was gray, the humid wind was blowing in my face.

The guys, I think there were about three of them, spoke English with slight German accents. I’m not sure if they had done the subtitling or the dubbing of the movie. In any case they told me that the days were over when lesser-known animes like this one were being translated. Only the big productions like Miyazaki movies got released to an international audience.

I wondered about the manner of my being there. Was this my strange experience of reliving the commentary track recorded in the past? I spoke with them – remarked that it seemed like they were German (and commented on my own annoying and unintentional habit of mimicking the English accent of those I speak with) – so it seemed they were communicating with me. I also expressed how real everything felt, the wind in my face.

Later in the dream more people were part of the group. I talked with a woman, still trying to figure out whether every utterance was already “recorded” or if I could influence what was being said. I asked her a specific question, an algebra problem; I think it was “what is 40A + 8A?”. She didn’t know, but did repeat part of the question to herself.

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The start of something

Since some of my dreams tend to be weird enough to be interesting, I’ll use this blog to post the ones that are – provided I get around to writing them down as they happen.

I have a few dreams written down, mostly from the past couple of years, and one really long one from 1997 that I still can’t figure out how I remembered in its entirety. I’ll post these dreams first. Newly dreamed dreams I expect will appear here somewhat infrequently.

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