Internal moonshine of a restless mind

This dream is from 4 April.

I was in a house with E. I guess in the dream it was our house, but actually it was the old house of my aunt and uncle, at least partly. E had been in the bathroom upstairs, but now we were both downstairs doing something. I then decided to go upstairs. The following is hard to explain.

I knew that E was also supposed to be upstairs (I think because she had never actually gone downstairs). But I also knew that she was definitely downstairs. This was a paradox that was presented or created somehow – almost like “reality” (or the dream, but this was not a lucid dream) was trying to fool me – but I did not think those thoughts explicitly in the dream. Still, I wanted to challenge this concept of E being upstairs. I knew that she would seem to still be there, in the bathroom, but I also knew that it couldn’t possibly be her, since I knew for a fact that she was downstairs.

I opened the door to the bathroom. There she was. But instead of acting naturally, she just stood there staring straight ahead (or at me) with one hand covering her mouth. This creeped me out. I was sure it was not really her, so I wanted to tear down this illusion, this trick, this simulacrum of E. I think the first thing I did was turn around her somehow, but whatever I did, she remained standing there the exact same way, hand covering her mouth. I don’t remember the details, but somehow I tore apart or deconstructed her, until in the end all I was left holding was her hair attached to a dark, flowing cape or perhaps shadow. This did not feel like any kind of success; it actually terrified me.

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