Gilt Guilt

A dream from 26 July.

I was in a house, probably in an office, big and dark with leather interior. A man was at the desk with some kind of golden artifact, like jewelry or coins. I asked to borrow one; I wanted it for some project where I thought it would look cool. He gave it to me. Later the object was taken from me by some children in an event that I don’t remember. But I remember wanting it back, since it was very valuable and it didn’t belong to me. These children took it because, according to them, it had a dark history. They looked like they had backgrounds from another country. Maybe the object had something to do with their country or history, but in any case it was offensive or disrespectful to them. So in a way, I felt torn about what to do.

I think the children showed up several times when I was taking the bus. They were like a gang or group, and it was not always the same people each time I saw them. The last time this happened, they gave me some document they had written or printed out, and it had several things attached to it. I thought it would say something about what they were after, but instead it just recounted some of the history and the atrocities that were somehow attached to the artifact. Then they left the bus, and I ran out shouting after them and asking people to stop them. But they were leaving, maybe boarding another bus. And I had to get back on my bus because I had left my things there. I shouted something like: «If I don’t hear from you again I’m going to have to call the police!» I knew I had threatened that before. «Because this is worth—» and some monetary amount I don’t remember.

One of them, a boy, was still there in my bus. I was sitting in the back of the bus, having my things next to me in the corner. There was something moving there! I wondered if one of the children were hiding among my things. But it was an animal that they had placed there, about the size of a small dog, but not a dog. It attacked me, trying to bite me, but it couldn’t bite through my jacket. I managed to push it out of the bus into the snow, despite the boy protesting. I wondered to myself if the animal could survive outside in the cold. The boy was clearly worried for it. So I said: «Well, you put it there, what am I supposed to do? You take care of it.» It felt like it was around the third time they had hid an animal like that, each time a different one, kind of like a prank or as a way to punish me for what I had done.

Then I was left alone in the bus with my thoughts. I realized I didn’t remember who I had borrowed the object from since I had borrowed it in a dream. I’m not sure I realized that the incident with the children and the animal had occurred in a dream, but I certainly didn’t realize that I was dreaming when I was having these thoughts. I wondered if there could be any consequences, maybe legally, of having borrowed something that you don’t return when the borrowing took place in a dream. «Can I look this up somewhere?» I thought to myself.

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